I shall not ruin today.. because today rocked... and if I let mommy dearest get to me, today will officially suck.

Sorry mom, I'm not listening to anything you're saying right now... because you're not listening to me.... all is fair.

Anyway I'm not going to rant on and on about how my mom is majorly PMS-ing on me... and I mean fucking majorly... oh well whatever I don't give a fuck anymore... because giving a fuck about whatever fuck thats happening will just make my day fucky. UGH IM NOT LISTENING TO HER!! NO IM NOT!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

OK so anyway.... today was awesome! till now... but whatever it was awesome anyway. I'm not speaking to my mom or dad... which makes life so much easier. I get what I want.. and I don't need to listen to bull shit.

I'm sleepy. Tomorrow should rock. Tomorrow mom wants to buy me a new dress for monday. YAY!!! I'm still not talking to her. -.-

Oh anyway H told me what he wanted for his birthday... its the sweetest thing ever!! Can't wait for it... the message was the nicest thing he's probably ever said! AAAAAAH yay!! H YOU MADE MY DAY TODAY!! Apart from my awesome class which makes my day EVERYDAY!! lol

Hey should I make a mask for crez awards or buy one??? I want to save money so I believe I should make one... but buying one would be easier... so I could buy one. UGH TODAY I HAD VOWED TO SAVE 2 BUCKS!! But nooo I wanted to eat more... so I bought a latte and 3 packets of oreo's... heheh

OH AND I GAINED WEIGHT!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I want to gain anymore. I'll stick with the weight I have... oh and I realized... MY NOSE IS FAT!! NOOO ITS FAT!! I'm getting a nose job as soon as I turn 18!! People hopefully you wont object to this because its like cosmetic surgery... but I don't see whats wrong with it..

If people want to ... then they should. I want to. So I will. =D

OH AND HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!!!! GONG XI FA CAI!!! ( is that how you spell it???)

Dad was suppose to pick me up, driver came instead and I was like what the hell... driver took me to dads office and once again I was like what the hell.... from there dad and I took the merc. and went home... reached home by 7.00PM!!! That was when the suckiness started.

See we have a new maid, so what happened was my mom wanted me to teach her how to make the rice... how the fuck am I suppose to teach her... if I myself dont know how to make bloody rice. Anyway mom gave me rough instructions and I ended up making the rice... so whatever. No... no thats not the sucky part... not yet. Then mom told me to stir fry the stupid spinach thingy... and I was stir frying it ... I got bored. Looked up, looked down... and accidentally burned my hand... I wasn't looking... so yeah. ugh

Hurts like fuck. Then mom was scolding me because maid didn't know how to make the chapati. Oh yeah mom I totally know how to make those right... its so my fault she didn't make them right. Mom scolded me like shit and left me in the kitchen... so I didn't know what shit to do with the food and I was just staring at it. Then mom came back and suddenly starts acting nice... I was like ugh whats the deal. But my moms sick, I guess it wasn't her fault she kept getting pissed so whatever.

THEN, dinner went ok... after dinner dad usually askes for soda. I brought his soda... and the ice. This time with the ice holder ... because if I drop the ice from top the soda splashes onto his pants... which pisses the shit out of my dad. THUS I ACTUALLY BRING THE FUCKING ICE HOLDER SO I DON'T SPIL ONE DROP OF COKE ON HIS PANTS. OK ONE DROP. What happens 20 minutes later???? I'll tell you what happens.

He was in the study room with the coke glass on the computer table, he was studying... there was a big file on the table as well.... I got money from mom for school, was leaving the room... and bumped into the file which bumped into the glass.... the whole fucking coke spilled on his pants. ALL OF IT.

I WAS TAKING FUCKING PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES SO AS TO NOT SPLASH ONE DROP OF COKE AND I END UP DROPPING THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!??!?!?! WHY THE FUCK ?!?!?!?!

See you guys must think I'm freaking out because it was just a spill... but no no my dear friends... it was not JUST A SPILL. I SPILLED IT ON HIS DESIGNER PANTS. And damn does that piss him off. Once I accidentally spilled one drop of coke because of the whole 'no ice holder' thing, and he scolded the shit out of me.

Today he screamed sooooo much, oh god... it sucked balls.... see for me I NEVER CRY. I don't cry over shit like guys dumping me or hurting my feels... because thats gay. No offence to the sensitive souls who do cry over guys.... I don't cry if mom scolds me or anything... but I have this weird thing with my dad... where whatever he says affects me to a major extent. He screamed so much today... but it was an accident.... an accident..... IM NOT GONNA CRY... UGH NO IM NOT!!

Fuck these tears, I can't even control them... and then you know what my mom said?!!??!? I ran after her and was like 'it was an accident ma... im sorry'........ but you know what she said??? she said "you're right, its my fault... the one who gave birth to you.. I don't get why I did that" HOW NICE RIGHT?!?!? That hurt so much.... so fucking much..... ugh DONT CRY!!!

I'm Zehra/Mishal (whatever) !!! I don't cry! I'm goofy and retarded and happy-go-lucky... I don't cry.... jeez who am I bull shitting...

It was an accident.... just an accident..... I didn't mean to. I didn't see the glass ... and the file was huge... and .... ugh... fuck.

I'm so sad right now... I swear to god.... this sucks... everyone got on my nerves today (at home only).... everyone was blaming me for everything......

tears are salty.

He never calls back, yeah maybe he really was busy... but he could have sms-ed right... he could have. I'm not calling him today .. no I'm not... ugh but I so want to!! AAAAAAAAH V says I shouldn't because he didn't call back....

See today I decided I wouldn't call till he calls... and he still hasn't, after this he has dinner and then he'll just do homework and go to bed. Ugh shit. No... I'm not calling. I'm not his bitch... I'm no one's bitch. Just my own.

Fuck, why can't you just call?!?!?!??!?!?!?! How hard is it... why do I have to call first all the time.... why don't you?

You never sms... if you couldn't call back yesterday.. you should have sent me a message. But did you? NO. You didn't. Su is right.... I'm always pissed at him.. so whats the point of being together if I'm always pissed at him...

Oh come on I'm not ALWAYS pissed at him. I'm not... I hope not at least.. and if I was... ITS HIS FAULT!!!!!!! Ok yeah sometimes I can be a TEENSY bit unreasonable... but seriously what do you expect from me?!?!?

I'm not going to call every bloody day... sometimes you can. And if I do, I expect you to talk to me more instead of sms-ing the whole fucking time. You say you can't sms.... because your bill will be too high, so I stopped sms-ing you and then when I'm on the phone with you, all you do is SMS YOUR FRIENDS! Its so annoying....

I wish I seriously didn't give a fuck... I hate this. And I don't wanna end it... because well I don't know... I just don't... Ugh its 7.45 and he hasn't called.... fuck.

He's suppose to call around this time... I always do. A.L.W.A.Y.S.

Current state of mind : confused, annoyed, sad, a lil pissed, not making any sense.

DAYUMN.

ugh, I haven't done homework... I don't feel like doing homework... I'm so lazy, H hasn't called... he said he would.. so I guess in a while, he will... I hate waiting for people to call. I shall not wait today... no I won't

Anyway, I'm totally obsessed with this song from bluff master... its awesome... Suz and Veena honey we're so making a video on the song....

YES CNY HOLS COMING !!

Hols = party party = cam-whoring cam-whoring = major fun only one prob = LOTS OF HOMEWORK!

You know whats weird??? This year I actually ENJOY coming to school! The school that I've hated for like 3 whole years, because it was something I wasn't used to AT ALL!!!!!! There are no cat fights, no lame arguments over guys... well its a girls school what do you except? lol And people are actually friendly. It scared me. Seriously.

Anyway this year the class I'm in 3s2b it rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!! We have so much fun, its hilarious.... I stay back almost everyday and Niveetha is usually around and stuff!! LOL. And during classes, with the teachers and everything it rocks seriously!! I don't know why but our class is like sooo special! Its like different. It isn't boring...

ahahhahah everyone is so fun, Fateha with her spreading the love!! hahahah and Pogo with her birthday and scribbling on the board!! Nishan with her innocence!! Niveetha with her adorable reactions and freaking out as a chair person! THEY CRACK ME UP I TELL YOU!! No one hates anyone ya know?? its sweet... its nice =)

Anyone can sit with anyone and it wouldn't be a big deal, there is no clique system which is like really cool! Half of the class sits together I think... Our class is like small... but it rocks! Just 25 of us! WE COULD ROCK YOU ALL UP IN LESS THEN A MINUTE!! WOOHOO

LOL... this was a random post... as I suddenly burst out laughing because of what happened in PE when we were running... everyone was cheering everyone on... and Fateha with the BOO BOO song!!!!! It was hilarious!!!!!!!

Honestly I was super scared to go this class, because well I don't know half the people... but dayumn I am sooo glad I met all of em!! I SERIOUSLY MEAN ALL OF THE PEOPLE!!! No hard feelings for anyone =D Isn't that awesome????????????????? Yeah I know it is.

Oh by the way, can someone please tell me the class website??????? I forgot the link!!!!!!

Ive been really mean to you haven't I??? Well I just wanted to say that I totally treasure your friendship and I love how we are now, and don't wanna lose it at all!!! See Nishan and I had some arguments today, and they were clearly my fault, we've solved it out now though! so yay!

Even then I would totally like to sincerely apologize to Nishan!! Nishan I'm soooo sorry!!! I swear I won't be mean!! happy? And I'll TRY and cut down on the bad words.... heheh ok fine I'll cut down on the bad words. I will also do all my homework and won't bother you with totally annoying questions!!!

People you might think that I'm embarassing myself by apologizing to her, where everyone can read it, but Nishan honey apologizing to you on this thingy majingy makes me feel better , and hopefully you truly forgive me! And I hope we can go back to being normal =D

Oh one more thing I'd like to add.... I do value money completely. People might think I don't because well I buy too much food and waste it or because I have drivers or whatever, but that doesn't mean I don't VALUE money. I know I'm a totally spoilt brat, but I try to do the best I can... ok fine I don't. The point is whatever I do is because I want to.... no one has the right to judge me by the way I spend, shop or eat. N.O O.N.E.

I'm used to being bitched about because of well stuff like this, thats what mainly made me a mean person. Then again I try to be nice once in a while, but it hardly ever gets me anywhere.... so I've decided to stick with the bitchy attitude, but yeah I can never ever hurt the ones I truly adore! I can also never ever watch anyone insult my friends, they'd have to get through me first to get to them. Cool?.... cool.

Oh and I like cold milo. =)

Today was such a long day! OMG, we started at like 7.45 and ended at 3.30!!!! It drove me crazy!! Fridays are meant to be the shortest, and for half the classes they were majorly short, but for us noooooo, bio students have to suffer!!! lol, but biology was so fun... well the cells looked majorly cool.

Oh but then after school, I had to lie to the math teacher so I could go home because I sooo didn't want to do the math homework in front of her, it would take too long and it would be majorly stressful! She wanted us to do homework with her becaue I hadn't handed up any of the homework earlier. Wth right.

Tomorrow is urdu school, ugh. Urdu school gets so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then again, I love it... which doesn't make sense... but whatever.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH THATS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!! OH MY GOD VEENA GUESS WHAT!!!! Remember how you would read Suhaila's blog??? Well now she thinks we're stalking her! And, she also thinks that WE are trying to learn bitching skills from her. Like what.the.hell

Let me make it VERY CLEAR TO EVERYONE! VEENA AND I ARE BORN BITCHES! We don't need to LEARN skills, because we are already pro. AND NAYELA DEAR!!! YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW, THAT I WAS A BITCH WHEN I MET YOU, at that time I didn't even know if there was a Suz, Suhailah or a blog. Anyway I don't need to explain anything to anyone because, Veena and I know the truth...

Oh Veena still owes me a gossip girl marathon..... Su is sooooo coming, oh but I wanna watch 90210 as well.... I've already seen all the episodes.... but we could always watch em again! March holidays, we are having a gossip girl + 90210 marathon, so yay for us. And the rest of the world can be jealous. cool? ... cool.

Hello bitches, today talking to Nayela was so awesome. Damn nayela we're such bitches..... no one can mess with us.. hahahahah Can't wait for skl on sat... we have some special arrangements... ;) actually they're almost ready.... WATCH OUT MOFOS! MAJOR BITCH-FEST ON THE WAY!!! woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!

I love it when we do shit like this! hahahahhaha i like the name you made up Nayela. Bitch-Fest! LOVE IT BABE! L.O.V.E I.T!

Oh yeah today talked to Anusha about tons of things which were NOT RELATED TO URDU SKL!! finally!!!! hahahah because all we ever talked about was, how I like the bitchy shit in urdu skl and she hates it. haahhah but today we actually talked about things that actually matter. aww did I just say urdu skl doesnt matter? well no mofos it doesnt. how sad.... not.

It was the first week of school, and I skipped 3 days already.... teacher probably hates me by now... dayumn. I have to do so much homework and hand it all in by tomorrow.... dayumn. I missed so many lessons, which means I have so much to catch up with.... dayumn. What a great start to the year! P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

Even then there are so many good parts to the story, which won't be helping me academically of course... but whateva. The good parts are that my class is totally awesome! Nishan and Nivetha and people, they rock! They made me laugh so hard, everyone thought I was drunk.... I sooo wanted to go to school, but I caught a really bad flu... which still isn't cured of course its just better. A bit better.

How could you B?? I mean seriously.... HOW COULD YOU?!?!?! You said you DID NOT like H that way... damn you... sneaky little bitch. I laughed it all off... all of it. You talked to H and I didn't care... you danced with H, I still didn't care... but then you hold H's ARM?!?!?!??! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ????

I understand the fact completely that you don't know the story about H... well you don't know the whole story... but the parts that you DO know are enough for you to back the fuck off. Are they not lil'B?? Because if they're not then we're gonna have some major problems.

I can't believe you! You fucking know that H hates your guts... and even then you go and do what you did. You are sooooo gonna pay for this. I took your shit, and I'm not in the mood to take more. We were all majorly annoyed at you from the beginning, you're so bloody childish. Sadly you think you're all that... but no one likes you B. NO ONE LIKES YOU. You're a social reject who is hated by many people. So back off B... BACK OFF.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I can't believe its 2009, time flies doesn't it??? Anyway I had an awesome new year!! It started off really bad, well not bad... just boring... Veena's mood swings were getting on my nerves, Azfar.. Azfar.. Azfar thats all she could talk about, "is he ignoring me?", "why is he pretending like I don't exist?!" WE DON'T CARE VEENA!!! He isn't even your boyfriend. He is your ex. The word EX makes a difference hon. A BIG DIFFERENCE. I wish you would understand everything me and Su try to tell you, I'm sure you'd understand if you listened in the first place. Dayumn I'm a bitch aren't I, sorry Veena! But you need a wake-up call!!!

Anyway Veena had to leave early, so she left by 9.30, and thats when the party actually started... sad... We had sooooo much fun!! LOL G GOT DRUNK!! IT WAS SOOO FUNNY!!!!!! Su and I wanted to try a drink as well, so we did! AND DAMN IT MESSED WITH OUR HEADS!! We finished A's bottle... SORRY A!!!! We tried getting into a club, but it was too expensive... so we just went to the stage thingy majingy. We all danced like retards, it was awesome!! HA! SU AND I EVEN TRIED A CIGG!! It sucks, I've tried it before... but this time it sucked way more then usual...I don't get how you smoke like that G!

Overall new year was really good, there was something missing though and I just can't put my finger on it. May be it was just the awkardness that stupid Z kept creating.. I DON'T WANNA DANCE WITH YOU!! IS IT SO HARD???? JEEZ!!!!!!! S and Z are wayyy better then I thought they were. Actually I only found S decent. He was really nice, Z was nice too... but he is just so freaking messed up in the head it scares me.